so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
