Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I lost the right to judge tonight
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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