K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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