TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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