Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
