The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
