So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
