so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
