ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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