Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize