i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
