how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
everyone is single if you try hard enough
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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