If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
