i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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