We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
