I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Everything about him screamed your future.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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