Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
