dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
