you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
