i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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