I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
