I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize