it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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