weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
