I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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