Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
try to milk me bitch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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