Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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