i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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