No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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