Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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