spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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