I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
