wakey wakey hands off snakey
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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