I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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