Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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