My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
