i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
