I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
