so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
