so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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