Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
