Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
