Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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