Me too!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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