dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You are a genius and a whore.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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