So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
