when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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