would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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