What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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