C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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