i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
