why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
