I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
