So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
