I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my being single is dangerous.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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