i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
