Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize