Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
