its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
All the doctor said was why
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
