Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
