vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
