Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
