Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize