You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
