Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
birth control should be required to get into college
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
