My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
