white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You can't special order awesome
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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