If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
