look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
