something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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