you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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